We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
