there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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