We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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