And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
