you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize