Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize