Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize