For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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