I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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