What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just google imaged poop.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
