I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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