Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
