can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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