he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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