Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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