Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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