i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize