What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we made out on top of his cat.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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