On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I will be naked everywhere
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Everclear isn't food dammit
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
