did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
