K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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