I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
