i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
