we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
soo... how was my night?
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