oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize