Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
