Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
