Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
