i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
