Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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