Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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