i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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