Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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