but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize