Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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