Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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