they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Let the clothes fall where they may.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
