I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
