call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
