In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
