Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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