Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
