I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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