come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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