Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
