i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
