if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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