someone threw a dead crab at me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize