Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Randomize
