jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
