Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
