I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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