I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
