I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
