My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
