There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I FOUND THE LEGS
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