Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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