How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
