well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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