he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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