he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
