you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
