I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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