After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
