Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
