I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So much rum. So many feels.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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