Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
