you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
